Remission
by brightened
Summary: With the Dark Lord defeated, Severus Snape embarks on a journey of atonement. HP/DM and SS/SB
1. Epilogue

This is entirely unbeta'd and went through very little editing. I'm just writing it for my own enjoyment and honestly that stuff takes away from it. Hopefully you can enjoy this in its unrefined state ;)

**Epilogue**

Harry awoke with a flash of pain. He had held in all his yells while being tortured but being barely coherent he could not find the willpower. He opened his mouth to a hand pressed against his lips.

"Shut up before you get us killed," a voice whispered harshly in his ear. Draco Malfoy. He trembled against Harry and his palm lay slick against Harry's face. "Do you understand?" Harry, rather than answer, roughly shoved Malfoy away. He had no idea what was going on but he was not going to trust any Malfoy after spending the day tortured under their hands.

"Just let me die," Harry said from his curled position on the floor. "Don't fuck with me like this."

"You are the worst," Malfoy said and tossed a thin object at Harry. He caught it instinctively and warmth shot up his arm. His wand. "If only everyone could see you now, giving up. What would _Granger_ say? Probably rather be with a weasel than a crybaby, don't you think?" In another lifetime Harry might have lunged at Malfoy for his words but his mind was clearer than it had ever been and he could see right through the transparent attempt to motivate him.

"You are the worst nemesis," Harry said. "You don't even know I'm with Ginny. Come up with insults based on that if you really want to hurt me."

"I don't _want to_ _hurt you_," Malfoy hissed. "Don't make me drag your bony ass out of here." Harry brought his wand closer to his face as if it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. It was a concentrated effort not to look down at his mangled foot. Every part of him hurt except his mind and his mind told him it would be better to just go to sleep. Let everyone else figure it out. Let someone, anyone, bear the burden of being the savior.

"Fine," Harry said. He'd meant to sound contemptuous but the word came out dull and lifeless. He dragged himself over to the wall and used it for support to stand.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Malfoy mumbled under his breath. A few spells later Harry's foot was pain-free and useable, if still rather resembling ground hamburger.

"Well, thanks," Harry said. "What now?"

"Now," Malfoy said, sweat beading along his hairline, "we try to get out without anyone finding us."

"Brilliant plan," Harry said as he stumped along behind Malfoy. "Really, see, I was worried about dying a painful slow death but a wonderfully executed escape plan will fix that. No chance of getting caught at all." The grinding of Malfoy's jaw was visible from the side of his face and Harry couldn't help but smile. "Holding your tongue? My, you really are-" At the sound of footsteps Harry, despite his less than stellar survival instinct, fell silent. Malfoy's trembling renewed with great vigor but he still managed to Disillusion them both in one smooth movement. They pressed against the wall together and Harry raised his wand.

"Draco?" the thin wavery voice of Narcissa Malfoy drifted down the steps into the makeshift prison. "Are you in there?" She took several steps down, peered into the darkness, and went back up. If she had noticed a lack of Harry Potter she had not reacted to it at all.

"We're dead," Harry said matter-of-factly.

"Is this how you acted when you fought Quirrel or saved the little weasel or rescued Black? I have to admit I always imagined you a bit, you know, brave."

"I was brave," Harry said, "and it got me this." He gestured at his body and then remembered he was Disillusioned. Malfoy seemed to have gotten the message, though, because as they began to move through Malfoy Manor he remained silent. Every second that passed undetected brought a new chip of hope into Harry, despite his best effort to remain pessimistic. They slipped through the back doors and Harry pressed a hand against his chest to feel his racing heart. This…was happening? He…was getting out? He suddenly wanted to grab Malfoy and hug him but he quelled that desire.

"I can Apparate from here," Malfoy said. He was breathless, from fear or excitement or probably both. "Give me your hand."

"How sweet." Harry heard the voice and knew they were doomed and still he helplessly grabbed Malfoy and clung to him as if either one of them could Apparate without Voldemort stopping them. The Disillusionment charm lifted with a sweeping sensation of warmth. Harry reflected it was the last time he would ever feel warm. The unaffected air he'd mastered in the dungeon slipped away. Birds chirped and the first rays of the sun rose over the forest. Harry breathed deeply. His last breaths. He was not at all ready to die but having someone holding his hand, even if that someone was Malfoy, helped.

"Draco." Narcissa burst from the doors, her eyes wild. "Draco, what are you doing? Get over here. My Lord, please-" Voldemort casually waved his wand toward Narcissa and her head rolled from her shoulders. Beside him, Malfoy screamed. Voldemort raised his wand, red eyes glowing as they drank in the sight of a beaten Potter.

"Finally," he murmured and lifted his hand. "Avada-"

"Avada Kedavra," Draco said and so great was the Dark Lord's focus on his captured prize that it took him half a second to realize the simultaneous casting. He jerked in surprise, his own green beam missed Harry by inches, and Malfoy's killing curse hit him square in the chest.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Severus awoke with a flash of pain, at once terrifying in its intensity and comforting in its familiarity. He rolled to the edge of the bed and promptly vomited upon the floor. He pulled his wand out from beneath his pillow and quickly lit it, alert enough through the pain to be wary. He sat still and studied his environment for several minutes, the stench of sick curling into his nostrils. Confident enough that no one was in his chambers, he flicked his wand at the vomit. A pause and a sniff later he also cast a scented charm before easing off the bed and making his way to his potions cabinet, suddenly desperate for some relief.

Before he had taken five steps, the pain ceased. It was only when the pain went away, completely and fully away, that he realized his forearm had pained him for the past sixteen years. He clenched his left hand and did not feel the protest of his Dark Mark as he always had before. He rolled up his sleeve and immediately wished he hadn't. Severus was unprepared for the completely blank slate that greeted him. No snake flicked its tongue at him, no skull glared menacingly, not even a red mark existed to indicate his flesh had ever been anything but.

His thoughts quickened along with his pulse as he considered the possibilities. The Dark Lord dead, the Dark Lord somehow severing the connection, a trick, a dream. "Don't be a fool," he said to himself, the words low and rough in the silence. Severus Snape had not allowed himself to dream in near two decades. No matter the reason, there was something he knew he must do. He dressed quickly in the dark and made his way to Albus's office, fingers wrapped around his wand as his gaze swept the empty hallways.

He should not have been surprised, but he was. He had not at all expected to step off the winding staircase and find a battered, bloody Potter sitting in the Headmaster's office. Minerva, Poppy, and Molly Weasley were all clustered around the boy, clucking and administrating potions. Albus stood at the window, removed from the scene, face grave. Without a word, Severus strode closer and thrust out his arm. Albus showed no shock at the bare skin. "Of course," he murmured. His fingers absently twirled his wand. "I see."

"Well, I don't," Severus said and felt his temper rising, rising, always rising. "If you could perhaps explain to me-"

Severus fell silent of his own accord when the fireplace swelled green and spit out Sirius Black. Despite the countless other issues at hand Severus still took time to scowl at the disheveled man. Black sneered in response before rather harshly elbowing Molly out of the way and throwing his arms around Harry. So Black the fugitive was more informed than he. He bit his tongue, glanced at the Headmaster who appeared content not to offer any answers, and stayed silent. In the minutes that followed, half the Order tumbled out of the fireplace.

"It's true then?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked.

"Yes," Albus said. There was a long moment of silence before the old man's face cracked in a smile. "Yes, Kingsley, it's true. Harry has defeated Voldemort." It was a sign of the tension in the room that Poppy only flinched and sent a wary glance at Albus without verbally chastising him.

"I didn't _do_ anything." Potter's voice was several octaves higher than it should have been but otherwise rather strong. "It was Malfoy," he added to a resounding silence. Severus had started to piece together the general idea of what was happening but this tidbit once again threw him in a spin of confusion.

"Draco," he repeated when no one else spoke up. "What – where is he?"

"I'm not sure," Potter said. He bit his lip. "He ran off."

"Start from the beginning," Albus said. He settled into his desk and regarded Potter with the utmost respect and attention. "If you please." Potter immediately launched into the tale with the air of someone who had recounted many adventures. It was second nature for Severus to keep all fear off his face but with each word, the smoothness of his face cracked. Draco was an idealistic, impetuous child who had caused more problems for Severus than he had ever solved. He was also the first and only diaper Severus had changed; he had bragged to the Potions master about his ability to piss in a toilet; he had thrown tantrums over his Potions grades; he had held his newly branded forearm and cried in Severus's chambers.

Potter stumbled over Narcissa's death and Severus cast a quick look around the room. Everyone was shocked to some degree but no one appeared at all disturbed. As many memories he had with Draco, he had infinitely more with Narcissa. She was too fragile to live the life of a Death Eater's wife, too egotistical to be a proper mother, and she was the closest to a friend he had come…after Lily, of course. And, oh, how Draco must be dealing with witnessing her decapitation.

Harry finished his story with details of how he had Apparated outside the wards and stumbled through the Forbidden Forest. Madame Pomfrey gave Harry a dreamless sleeping draught and ushered him out of the office to get him into a hospital bed. Black followed like the dutiful puppy he was.

"Severus," Albus said. Severus easily caught the message that he was to find Draco. He nodded sharply and hurried out of the office as the rest were briefed on the task of collecting the remaining Death Eaters. Severus rubbed his forearm and hoped he would find Draco soon. He was worried about the boy and he would really like a drink.

* * *

Severus did not sit idly by hospital beds when someone got injured. Instead, he went back to Hogwarts, cast several cleansing charms on himself, and set up his classroom for the day. He was more than relieved to note he would not see any fifth years that day. The last thing he needed was to deal with a group of teenagers bleating over their missing House poster boys. He had no patience for children and no-

Severus, in the middle of a lecture on the properties of Monkswood, fell silent. He could feel the heavy stares of thirty twelve year olds yet he felt as light as a feather. He had no patience for children and yet Albus knew controlling the youth would give him the most power and Severus had needed his protection. He had needed to suffer through endless hours of immaturity to stay alive. Now he didn't. Now he was free. The thought had not crossed his mind at all when he'd seen his bare forearm. He had done nothing but worry. With this simple revelation, he stopped worrying.

"Class dismissed," he said. He spelled his supply cabinet shut and swept out of the room in the midst of the children's confused whispers. He had quite possibly never travelled to Albus's office quite so fast. He entered without knocking and found the headmaster observing one of the small spindly toys he kept around his office.

"I was waiting," Albus said quietly. "I quite honestly expected you here sooner."

"Well I'm here now," Severus said and frightened himself with the anger in his voice before he realized he had no more reason to be fearful.

"No more Unbreakable vow," Albus said, "now that Riddle is dead."

"Yes," Severus said. He had nothing to do with the Dark Lord's death and he felt suddenly more triumphant than he ever had before. "I offered you my soul to protect her. It didn't work and still you kept it."

"I did think that after all this time…" Albus trailed off and waved a hand. Severus laughed.

"That I cared for you? That I cared for anyone?" Still he laughed and he could identify each emotion in Albus's eyes – pity, anger, and fear.

"I see," Albus said. "I take it this is your resignation."

"Effective immediately," Severus agreed and stood to exit the office before his exultation got the better of him. Since he had begun to spy for Albus he had difficulty maintaining his façade in front of the gray old man. That was another, unspoken reason Severus was glad to go. It was hard to be egotistical when a man infinitely his better sat across from him, flaunting his wasted power, reminding Severus of everything he could do but chose not to. Severus hungered for that power, the power which he would never have. Now he could retire to his Muggle house and brew potions until the fumes asphyxiated him if he wanted and there would be no glittering blue eyes to remind him of all his failures.

"Before you go," Albus said and extended a scroll of parchment. "With Narcissa passed and Lucius in custody, the legal guardianship of Draco has passed to you. He turns seventeen this summer but the next few months are still up in the air. I recommend that you allow him to continue at Hogwarts." Severus scanned the form stating he gave permission for Draco to attend Hogwarts. There was a disappointingly large part of him that wanted to Vanish the parchment out of spite. Instead, he grabbed a quill off Albus's desk, scrawled his name, and returned both items to the headmaster. "The Ministry has seen fit to grant you access to the Malfoy vaults and grounds to assist in your caring for Draco." Severus knew very well Albus had pulled some strings to get that access and again he wanted to throw it back in someone's face.

"I see," he said. "Is that all?" Albus nodded and Severus left.

It took a single wand swish to pack up twenty years of belongings. Severus felt slightly giddy as he stepped into the green flames, his former quarters empty behind him, and said, "Spinner's End."

* * *

Severus spent the first day in bed and alternated between feeling vindicated and exhausted. The second day he went to Diagon Alley and replenished his supplies for his basement potions laboratory. He had not experimented with potions since Albus had taken over his life; Severus was not interested in anything safe or helpful, after all. As he prepared himself a sandwich for supper he received an owl from a healer at St. Mungo. Draco was alert and asking for him. After consulting the time, Severus decided to save the visit till the morning.

He woke in the middle of the night, overcome with the need to explore the poisonous properties of Lady's Foot. At one point, he paused to wipe sweat from his brow and found it was early evening. The side of his pinky had been laid bare, stripped of flesh through some accident he had failed to notice. His basement smelled distinctly of goblin urine although he had not personally carried the ingredient in some time. Through several missteps he had concocted something probably poisonous enough to nauseate a mouse. Nothing had been accomplished and he felt more alive than he had since the day he'd called Lily Evans a Mudblood.

He showered, gnawed on a carrot, and went to bed. He slept fitfully but through the night and awoke with a distinct lack of inspiration. It was as he mooned about in his bedroom that he saw the letter he had tossed aside. He did feel a bit guilty for ignoring Draco, now that he remembered he was doing so, but the reminder came at an opportune time. Maybe as he visited his godson he would spot an afflicted person whose condition could inspire him. He changed out of the bedclothes he had worn for the past 3 days and threw a cloak over his fresh attire.

The check-in to St. Mungo's was expectedly unpleasant. The sight that greeted him in his godson's room was not. Potter sat at Draco's bedside grinning while Draco pouted playfully. _Playfully_. Draco had never been one to hide his emotions as much as he might have tried to and yet Severus had never seen him so careless.

He cleared his throat and the good humor of the room dropped immediately. Potter lurched out of his chair as if he was going to leave, paused, and sat back down. The initial startle on his face changed rapidly to challenge - typical Potter need to be the center of attention. Severus was here to visit his godson and not the egotistical Gryffindor who needed several good beatings.

"Professor Snape," Draco said, eyes flitting between his godfather and Potter.

"You've heard I am now your legal guardian?" Severus asked in a direct attempt to stave off pleasantries. He returned Draco's nod with his own. "I presume your brain is developed enough and your pocket deep enough to ensure you won't starve to death." Draco nodded again but this time his shoulders were tense, his eyes clouded with anger and something else. Severus met his gaze and saw it easily within Draco's mind. He was disappointed. He had thought the end of The Dark Lord would mean a new Severus. Well, he was right about that. It was only his own fault if it was not the new man he was expecting.

Severus sifted through this information and, as he began to pull out of Draco's mind, stumbled across another thought lurking near the surface. Immediately he withdrew, a sneer curling his lips. Draco took one look at his new guardian's face and went pink. "You went into my mind," he said.

"A favorite pastime of his, apparently," Potter said and Draco snorted.

"Hopefully not also one of yours, Potter, or you might be rather disgusted by what you see in Draco's mind." The beginning hints of mirth on Draco's face melted just quickly enough for Severus to see before he spun on his heel and strode out of the room. He returned to Spinner's End in a haze of anger. Why did Potter have to be around to ruin everything? That little meeting had gone far from how he'd expected and after that who knew when or even if there would be another one. He hadn't even gotten a chance to ask Draco how he was doing, how Narcissa had died, what had happened to Lucius. The more he stewed, the more regret he felt. He was too damn old to be running his mouth like a child any time he grew angry.

He tried to throw himself back into his potions but the day was a waste. Around midnight, he gave up his futile efforts and retired to the living room with a dusty bottle of Firewhiskey. He began to weep around his third drink. It was his own fault, everything, and he had to face that now. The past sixteen years he had blamed everything on Albus, the Dark Lord, Potter, Black, even Lily. Even as a child he'd had his father to blame. It was always someone else's fault that he suffered. He'd had no control, no choice, and so how could it be his fault that everything went to shit? But now four days into what was supposed to be freedom he saw the truth. It was all always his fault. His fault for being a disappointing son, for being ugly and cruel to Lily, for being greasy and friendless, lonely and angry, violent and frightful. He'd made himself into this hideous excuse of a man. And he thought he could run off to his Muggle home and brew potions to the end of his days? The delusions of a twisted worthless man.

The bottle dropped half-empty to the floor with a dull thud. Severus tried to place his glass on the coffee table but it also fell to the carpet. Soon enough, he slipped into a restless sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Harry looped his arm through Ginny's as they walked through Hogsmeade. A snowflake settled on her nose and he brushed it off to her laughter. "Protecting me from snowflakes now?" she teased.

"I'll protect you from everything," he said seriously. Her smile dimmed and she looked away. An awkward silence fell upon the pair and Harry remembered belatedly there was nothing to protect her from, at least not that she couldn't handle herself with a well-placed Bat Bogey or two. "Sorry," he said to her light shrug.

"Butterbeer?" she asked and he grunted assent. The Three Broomsticks bustled for the first time in two years. Ginny pushed her way through the crowd to go order, her red hair glimmering amongst the heavy blackness of cloaks. Harry looked away and around the crowd. Not a single one of the faces rosy from alcohol and body heat looked back at him. He spotted Neville and Luna in a corner booth, their faces close together. A half-smile snuck onto his face as he imagined their conversation. He moved toward their booth to say hello and was stopped by a freckled hand on his forearm. "Where are you going, Harry?" Ginned held two drinks in the crook of her arm and looked up at him with what was clearly amused consternation.

He gestured wordlessly at his friends and Ginny shook her head. "They're on a date, we shouldn't interrupt," she continued as she pushed him into a nearby unoccupied table.

"Neville and Luna?" he asked, squinting at them. "Well, good for them." He was glad someone was finding company amidst all the couples separating in the aftermath of the war. His stomach twisted as he thought of his two best friends. Ginny studied him with a look that suggested she knew exactly who he was thinking about.

"And good for them too," she said sternly. "Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should be with them." She was glaring at him with, in his opinion, entirely unwarranted venom.

"Is that so?" he said and if his voice came out harsh it was because he was irritated with the way she'd been condescending to him the whole day. "Why not? Isn't love the most important thing?" She fell silent and spun her Butterbeer in her hands. He had no idea why she had brought up Hermione and Ron's split and why her doing so made him so angry.

"No, unfortunately," she said. They sat in silence for several minutes before Harry suddenly understood.

"In the Three Broomsticks?" Her eyes were wet.

"I didn't plan on it." He believed her. He pushed the untouched Butterbeer across the table and stood. He tried to mumble some sort of pleasant goodbye but his face was numb. His movements felt stiff and uncomfortable as he walked out of the pub. He hadn't intended on going anywhere but he found himself stepping through the door of the Hog's Head. As always, it stood in gloomy contrast to Three Broomsticks. He ordered a Firewhiskey and settled into a booth. Since turning seventeen over the summer, he'd had little inclination to drink but it just seemed appropriate in the moment. He choked the drink down and realized his error – the burning of the drink led far too easily to watering eyes.

"What would Rita Skeeter say if she could see the Golden Boy now?" He heard the entirely too familiar, silky, mocking voice and looked up with a scowl. This was exactly what Harry did not need at the moment.

"Fuck off, sincerely," he said as the greasy man who'd tormented him so frequently sat down across from him. They had not seen each other since Draco's hospital stay and Harry had no desire to engage with the vitriolic man ever again.

"I will," Snape said. "However, there is something I owe you." Harry's hand went immediately to his wand as his mind raced for the best defensive spell. "I owe you…an apology. And here it is. I apologize for how I treated you as my student. I was wrong to take out my incompetency and powerlessness on you." Snape paused and where his previous words came out smoothly the next appeared to be a struggle. "I have been holding onto this for far too long when it was never rightfully mine." He withdrew a small, slender box and placed it upon the table. His hands shook as they slid out of sight. Unable to stop himself, Harry touched the box. A pleasant warmth spread from the tips of his fingers out to his whole body. He lifted the lid and wrapped his fingers around the wand within. "Willow, ten and one quarter," Snape said and his voice shook.

* * *

Severus had expected his apology to Harry Potter to be the most difficult. He had spent days envisioning Potter's snide remarks, scowls, and rude gestures. He would have assuredly deserved them but his ego had rebelled against allowing himself to be subject to them. When he had passed the boy and the Weasley girl in Hogsmeade, he had decided then and there to get it over with. Let Potter have the closure he deserved in whatever form that would take. A quick trip home to fetch Lily's wand and he had returned just in time to see Potter enter the Hog's Head, now alone. Even with his newfound philosophy on life he had been relieved to know he would not endure verbal abuse under dozens of watchful eyes.

Then Potter had surprised him. He had cried. He had thanked Severus. And he had invited the former Potions professor to dinner at Grimmauld Place. Every part of Severus rebelled against the idea but he resolved from the beginning to agree to requests (or demands) during his atonement.

The easiest apology had been, by far, to Draco. His godson had accepted his words at their face and had amicably agreed to set up a regular shared dinner. The next Tuesday after his discussion with Potter, Draco showed up with the cheery announcement that he would also be attending the dinner. This soothed Severus's anxiety only the smallest amount because not even Draco's newfound friendship with Potter would counteract the complete belligerent idiocy that Sirius Black would bring. Severus knew that kind of judgment was counter to everything he'd worked so hard on for the past eight months and still he struggled to suppress it. He expressed his reservations to Draco and gained a smile in answer.

"On the bright side," he said cheerfully, "Harry and Ginny broke up."

"Is that a bright side for Potter?" Severus asked. He had known about his godson's sexual attraction to Potter since the night at St. Mungo's and still had not fully adjusted to the idea. This was partially because whenever he tried to discuss it and Potter's invariable heterosexuality, Draco changed the subject. Pouting when things didn't go his way was apparently not a habit he'd lost since childhood.

"I'm not on your New Age kick, I can be as selfish as I want," Draco said in evidence, and sulked for the rest of the evening.

All too soon it was the evening of the dinner. Severus smoothed his robes over his chest and felt the overenthusiastic beat of his heart. Draco ran around in frantic circles as if he was a gnome recovering from being thrown. After the third time Draco posed the question of red or silver cufflinks, Severus said, "Which color will turn a straight man gay?" and locked the doors to his bedroom. He tried his utmost to hold his tongue but damn if Draco didn't make it hard. After several minutes composing himself, he went out to the living room fully expecting to apologize. He found Draco sitting by the fireplace, their gift of Elven wine in his grasp.

"Thank you for the reality check, Severus," Draco said as he stood. "Are you ready?" At his godfather's nod, Draco took a pinch from the floo pot and tossed it into the fire. "Grimmauld Place," he said with the ease of one accustomed to floo travel. Severus, on the other hand, did not have much experience. Flooing as a means of travel was usually reserved as a formal tradition or, in this case, to bypass anti-Apparition wards. Mostly, it was done by socialite Purebloods and therefore not at all by Severus. The last time he used floo powder was easily two decades previous. The fire had spit him out right at the Dark Lord's feet. His face grew hot as he remembered, suddenly and without welcome, how he had groveled for the privilege of the Dark Mark. Severus squeezed his now bare forearm and shoved the memories back into the deep recesses of his mind.

Moments later, he landed ungracefully on Potter's floor and just in time to see Draco grab Potter in an altogether too tight embrace. Severus felt pity and embarrassment looking at his clearly enamored godson. If there was only the slightest possibility of a happy resolution of the situation…

Severus drew himself to his feet just as Black strode into the room. He wore jeans, a rumpled t-shirt, and a face that hadn't seen a shaving spell in weeks. Potter cringed near-imperceptibly at his godfather's entrance. "Malfoy," he said with a forced smile and extended his hand. After a brief handshake he turned to Severus and looked him up and down leisurely. "Snape. Finally tired of being a socially outcast piece of shit?"

Severus immediately felt the familiar bitterness. The bitterness that burned the back of his throat as this man, of all people, sneered down at him. The man who had tried to kill him because of a petty boyhood rivalry, who had stood in Severus's way as he tried to better himself, who had laughed at him every time Severus was at his breaking point. But then, Severus knew, those were all actions long ago. He hadn't said a word to Black since the night the Dark Lord was defeated and before that it had been a solid two years of no contact. He had learned very well that the actions of the past did not have define you. And, more painfully, he was not as innocent a player in his torment at Black's hand as he would like to believe.

More importantly, he was earning his second chance. He needed to extend the same benefit of the doubt to others if he ever hoped to earn peace, quiet, and fulfilling relationships. This was a man who had despised him with all of his being even before he'd had his mind warped over thirteen years in Azkaban. Fortunately, though, Severus was spared a response.

"Sirius," Potter said, "please, for my sake, stop." A stilted silence fell upon the group before Potter, wary eyes on Black, spoke again. "Draco, did you bring that for me?" Draco jumped at being addressed and looked down at the wine he now clutched against his chest.

"Ah," he said. "Well, it's from Severus, I'm merely the pack mule."

"Thank you both," Potter said politely and stepped forward to accept the bottle. His fingers brushed Draco's and light pink spread across the blond's face. So much for the "reality check." "Kreacher," Potter called and an elderly house-elf in poor shape shambled into the room. He kept his wide eyes affixed on Draco and appeared to be mumbling, although Severus could not quite catch the words. "Is dinner ready?" The house-elf tore his eyes from Draco to narrow them at Potter and grunted affirmatively. "Thank you. Would you like to join us?" At this invitation Draco rolled his eyes, Black jerked back and wrinkled his face, and Kreacher wordlessly turned and raced out of the room. Potter turned, unexpectedly, to Severus and, even more unexpectedly, smiled. "Well, I tried."

"Sometimes you try too hard," Black said with a meaningful glare at Severus.

"Perhaps I should leave so you three can enjoy your evening in peace," Severus said as calmly as he could manage. For all he could rationalize accepting Black's behavior, actually doing so was getting more difficult by the second.

"To be honest," Potter said, "I had an ulterior motive for inviting you here. This won't be a peaceful evening at all." Severus tensed at this revelation and turned to his godson with an accusatory glare. The look melted when he registered the similar confusion on Draco's face. Oddly, Black no longer looked merely full of loathing but rather frothing with fury.

"I'm leaving," Black said.

"No, you aren't," Potter said with a distinct air of guilt. "You can't." Black promptly spun in place. Anti-apparition ward was up, then. If it wasn't Potter masterminding this kidnapping, Severus would be rather alarmed. As it was, he felt a vague curiosity tugging at him, questioning how this would play out.

"My legs aren't broken," Black said and strode to the door.

"Don't!" The urgency and fear in Potter's voice was painful to hear. "If someone sees you-"

"Then lift the ward. Otherwise, I'd rather return to Azkaban than ask _him_ for help."

"Sirius, please. You're all I have left." Black froze with one hand on the doorknob, the other reaching toward a coat on a stand.

"You're all I have too," Black said. He still faced the door so Severus wasn't quite sure but he had the suspicion Black was on the verge of tears. Overall, he was extremely uncomfortable, bewildered, and eager to leave. Draco looked fascinated with the display before him – he had probably never seen anyone express emotion so freely. "So I can just stay here."

"Yeah, stay here in the dark all by yourself with a weekly visit from me. You'll go mad. At the very least, you'll be severely unhappy. And I don't want that." There was a lengthy silence. Severus wondered idly if the anti-apparation ward had faded yet. Black turned from the door and nodded at Potter.

"If you must," he said and settled into a dusty armchair with the face of a man being strapped into an electric chair. Potter also took a seat and Draco followed suit. Severus stayed on his feet.

"The ulterior motive?" he asked.

"Right," Potter said. "Well, as you know, Sirius is still wanted for escaping Azkaban, being a Death Eater, and all of that." Potter paused and Severus sighed.

"You want me to hunt Pettigrew."

"Well, yes."

"Indulge me, if you don't mind. Why can't Black do this himself?"

"An excellent question," Black said with a look at his godson that suggested he'd asked the same question many times.

"That was actually the plan," Potter said, "until I told Draco about it. He pointed out that in the wake of the Dark Lord's death, the Ministry and the Prophet would just love any kind of news. A manhunt for Sirius Black would sell out every headline and ensure some re-elections."

"Whereas Severus Snape, the disgraced spy, can go just about anywhere without attracting attention," Severus said. "Excellent plan, Draco."

"I never meant it like that," Draco said.

"Yet that's what it means." Severus had spent, if he was being honest, hours mentally preparing for the arduous task of engaging in a social meal with Harry Potter and Sirius Black. The notion of being invited to partake in a fatal game of cat and mouse had never occurred to him. "So I chase down a man that the most trained of Aurors have been unable to capture, then somehow manage to get him into custody without him escaping. Sound right?"

"Well, he doesn't need to be alive," Potter said, "if that makes it any easier." The words were cold and too harsh to come from the boy sitting him before him. And truly he was a boy, old at seventeen, experienced beyond his years, and still little more than a child.

"And I do this all to earn your forgiveness?"

"I forgive you either way. I'm asking you to do this not out of obligation but out of the new sense of morality you say you've developed." Black snorted. Draco seemed to agree with that skepticism quite emphatically.

"Poor negotiation, Harry," Draco murmured.

"No negotiation to be done," Severus said. "I'll do it." He had believed the previous pause to be painfully long. The one that followed after his agreement tripled in length. Clearly no one had expected him to promise himself – at least, not quite this fast. However, Severus Snape was a man very in touch with what he would and would not do. He'd made up his mind five minutes before he spoke it. He would do it, and it would probably kill him, and that would be fine.

"Then I'm going," Black said.

"Forgive me if I'm mistaken but is not the whole point of my going to avoid your attendance?"

"Yes," Black said. "But there's no way I'm sitting around while you get Pettigrew. He's mine to kill."

"Sirius-"

"No," Black said. "I'll be careful. I'll let Snape do anything that might get me caught. Hell, I'll drink Polyjuice the whole time if you can make a large store. But I'm going, or no one is." Severus looked around at the two teenagers in the room and saw their equally stricken looks. Clearly, neither had much faith in the two of them as a team. To be frank, neither did Severus.

"Well, that settles it then," Severus said. "When do we leave?"


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Severus swept his eyes over the basement, the stockpile of rare and dangerous potion ingredients, the scorch mark on the left wall, and the unicorn blood stain on the floor. Had it been just a month ago that he'd entered this room thinking it would be the key to his new life? He had to admit that in the face of leaving it all behind forever, he rather wished he'd spent longer focused on selfish brewing.

"Severus?" Draco called down the stairs. Severus quickly picked up the bag he'd stocked with necessary medical supplies and strode up the stairs. He stopped short at the sight of his godson extending his arm, a golden owl cage hanging from his hand.

"What's this?" Severus asked with distaste. He had never liked owls and James Potter training his to dive at Severus's eyes had changed that dislike into straight up hate.

"I expect letters," Draco said, oddly brave under his godfather's withering sneer.

"I suppose," Severus said with forced calm, "sending postcards would do much for my story of taking an extended vacation." He shrunk the cage, ignoring the shrill protesting hoot of the now tiny owl, and secured it in his bag.

"Got everything, then?" Draco asked.

"I have medical supplies, clothing, money, and a shrunken owl. I may have overpacked." Draco rolled his eyes and opened the door for his godfather. The two stepped out into the overcast day. Draco shivered and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm a bit jealous," Draco said with a wary glance at the sky.

"You'll be at school with all your friends, there is nothing to be jealous of."

"All my friends? You mean the Slytherins that hate me for being a traitor and everyone else that hates me for being a Death Eater?"

"Remember they are all just children. And that in a few more months you will be able to be much more selective about the company you keep."

"Not terribly comforting," Draco muttered. Without another word, he stepped over and grasped Severus's forearm. Severus obliged, spinning on the spot and only catching the very beginning of the loud crack that signaled Disapparition.

The first thing Severus noticed about their destination: near silence. No giggling kids running down a stone corridor, no hexes being yelled, no suspicious bangs. It lasted for roughly three minutes – the time it took the pair to walk across the neatly manicured lawn of the cottage and open the front door. Inside, Potter sat on an armchair with his head in his hands while Lupin and Black screamed unintelligibly at each other. Draco sent a nervous look at Potter and drew the now normal-sized owl to his chest just as the creature let out a terrifying shriek. Instantly, Lupin and Black fell silent and turned to look at the newcomers.

"Ah," Lupin said, face drawn tightly, "there's my cue to leave." Lupin had always treated Severus with courteous professionalism and the barely concealed dislike now on his face was disconcerting.

"Is there a problem?" Severus asked. Lupin wordlessly brushed past him and out the door. Black turned and disappeared down the hallway.

"Well," Harry said and cleared his throat. His voice was several notches too high and upon closer inspection he was clearly blushing. "I made brunch."

"I'm going to set up my things," Severus said, "but you two…enjoy yourselves." Now Draco and Potter had blushes to match. He eased the owl cage out of Draco's grasp and walked down the hall. The floors were carpeted in a mundane beige, the walls an equally uninteresting and faded yellow. Of the three doors, one was shut and the other lead to a small colorless bathroom. The third door lead to a reasonably sized furnished bedroom. Severus busied himself with cleaning charms and unpacking his things. The owl stayed in his cage for all of fifteen minutes before he began to trill non-stop. Severus opened his window and watched the black screech owl fly out over the nearby sea, wondering idly if it would come back.

Severus stopped at the bathroom on his way out to the living room and studied his reflection in the mirror. It was a general rule of his to not keep mirrors around. Every time he caught a glance of his own reflection it felt like he'd received a hex to the stomach. He never liked what he saw scowling back at him: his crooked beak of a nose, his squinty beady dark eyes, his sallow skin, and his perpetually oily hair. All the things he'd been teased for displayed right there and it was easy, painfully so, to see why he had been targeted. Who could be friends with someone they could barely look at?

Severus turned and went into the living room. He found Potter, Black, and Draco stretched out across the furniture, a half empty Firewhiskey bottle balanced dangerously close to the edge of the coffee table.

"It's not even noon," Severus said. Potter laughed.

"It's a farewell party," Draco said. He sat, Severus noted, with his leg pressed firmly against Potter's. Potter downed the rest of his glass and put his arm around Draco's shoulder.

"Farewell? We could be home within the week, you know."

"Yes, well," Draco said, "just in case." The previously cheerful atmosphere tensed just a bit. Severus snorted.

"I sincerely hope you aren't expecting Peter Pettigrew to kill me. If a snake couldn't take me down, a rat certainly won't." Draco looked slightly mollified and Black, surprisingly, grinned.

"To taking down a rat," he toasted, picked up the Firewhiskey bottle, and guzzled from it.

* * *

"So where exactly does Pettigrew's aunt live?" Severus asked. Black rubbed his temples and squinted. Severus had to admit that for all he was trying to move past childhood rivalries there was a part of him that enjoyed seeing Black suffering with a headache. He assuaged his guilt by reminding himself that Black knew he was perfectly capable of brewing a quick hangover cure but the other man was simply being stubborn and refusing to ask.

"The stucco house on the corner." Black jerked his head east and immediately winced.

"And she knows you only as her beloved nephew's friend, not her beloved nephew's murderer?"

"As far as I know," Black said.

"Well, that's a comforting display of confidence," Severus said.

"Confidence? What do you need confidence for, to go interview an elderly Muggle?"

"It could be a trap," Severus said.

"It could be you're overly paranoid," Sirius said.

"It could be you're grievously lax."

"It's _my_ freedom on the line here," Black said. Severus realized that, somehow, they were both standing and facing each other, shoulders tensed. "If you don't want to be here, go back to Spinner's End and I'll handle it myself." Severus had to bite back a retort about it being Black's turn to finally do something. He took several deep breaths and forced himself to sit back down.

"Fair point," Severus said. "So I am going to go knock on his aunt's door, introduce myself as an old friend trying to find him, and name drop you as necessary."

"Yes," Black said. "It's not great but she's the only person I know Pettigrew stayed in contact with after he faked his death."

"Why would he risk that?" Severus asked.

"She was always very generous with money and sweets, I guess." Black shrugged. "You have the cloak, just in case?" Severus pushed his hand into his pocket and felt the soft folds of Potter's invisibility cloak. After literal decades of trying to understand how Potter had executed his plans so perfectly, he held the answer in his hands. More surprisingly, he was using it to help Black. Sixteen-year-old Severus Snape would never have predicted this moment happening. Sixteen-year-old Snape was an idiot anyway.

"Yes," Severus said and stood. "With any luck, I will be back shortly." Black nodded and sank into the overstuffed lavender armchair, his fingers once again massaging his temples. Severus double-checked that his wand was in his possession and went outside. A brown stucco two-story house sat down a few blocks of gleaming white sidewalk. He passed by a Muggle woman in jeans walking her dog and he felt suddenly nervous that he'd overdressed in his slacks and collared button-up. He had done quite a lot of infiltration in his days as a Death Eater but almost none of that had involved dressing as a Muggle. He had egged them into laughing at his flapping robes just to make killing them all the more satisfying…but that was long ago, back when he was idiot Severus. Dangerous, cruel, greedy, and violent but above all an idiot.

Severus rapped on the door and smoothed a hand over his shirt. As soon as the door opened, he quickly scanned the woman and what he could see of her house. She was heavily overweight and wore a light cotton sundress with sandals two sizes too small. Her walls were slate gray, her floors hardwood, and when he finished his quick glance of her house he met her eyes and smiled as smoothly as possible.

"Mrs. Adamson?" he asked with an understated smile.

"Yes, and you are?" She smiled back but was clearly guarded – she leaned against the door to effectively inch it shut.

"Severus Snape," he said, "I went to school with your nephew, Peter."

"Oh!" Her eyes widened and she straightened up away from the door. "You went to Hogwarts Prep, then?"

"Yes ma'am," he said and she laughed.

"Oh no, you won't get away with that! I'm not a ma'am quite yet." She glanced over her shoulder and then stepped back to open the door. "I'm guessing you'd like to come in. Leave your shoes at the door please." Severus slipped out of his shoes and followed her into the sitting room in his socked feet. As much as he'd doubted himself, he felt at ease. This was no different than what he'd done for fifteen years only with much lower stakes.

They chatted a bit about the school, what he'd been doing since graduation, and how he liked his work as a zookeeper. (Severus had guessed, based on her artwork and the food bowl in the kitchen, that she liked animals.) Then she bustled off the kitchen and came back with a tray of tea and finger sandwiches.

"Delicious," he said after eating one. "Thank you."

"No problem, none at all," she said. "So, I do admit to being curious what brought you here."

"I've been trying to get in touch with Peter," Severus said. He dropped a sugar cube into his tea and, after a gesture of permission, poured milk into hers. "I assume he told you about our friends James and Lily Potter." Instantly, her pleasant expression pinched and she patted her chest.

"Ah, yes," she said. "Terrible business, the poor dears. And their son Harry, yes?"

"Yes," Severus said. "Well, I'm moving and I've been cleaning house. I discovered in my old belongings an unopened envelope from the Potters, addressed to Peter. I'm not sure how it ended up in my possession but I am doing my best to give it back."

"Oh, how thoughtful! Well, leave it here and I'll make sure Peter gets it the next time he visits. He called me just yesterday and said he'd be dropping by this week."

"Why don't you ring me when he shows up and I can come surprise him? I'm sure he would love a visit from an old friend." Her smile faded once more only this time instead of sadness she displayed frustration.

"No, no," she said. "The boy won't let me have any visitors when he's around. One time I had friends over for bridge club and he sent them home. Not sure how he did it, mind. Gertrude is normally very stubborn about her bridge playing…" Her lips pressed together in a thin line as she let her words trail off. Abruptly she was no longer a doting host and instead focused, probing. Severus cursed himself. He'd underestimated the situation and played right into her hands. "You went to school with Peter?"

"Yes," Severus said and sank back into the couch, steeling himself for a bothersome afternoon of interrogation.

* * *

"Well?" Sirius asked the moment Severus stepped into the house.

"She was a nosy old hag that's been Obliviated at least four too many times," Severus said, "but she served her purpose. Pettigrew will be visiting her sometime this week and I have placed detection and anti-Apparition wards around her home. As soon as he enters we will know and be able to take him down." Severus crossed to the window of the living room and peered out. A trio of young children played with a hose in a front yard. "There is another matter. I am not sure of the relevance – I can't think of why–"

"What, Snape? Did something happen?"

"Pettigrew's aunt blocked my attempts at legilimency." Black was silent and, clearly, stunned. "There is of course the possibility of her being under control of an Imperius or bewitched in another way. And if that's the case, well…"

"We lost our only lead. Fuck!" Black jumped to his feet and began to pace, kneading his forehead with his knuckles. "What's to say she's not contacting Peter right now?"

"I did not detect any magical items or residue in her home. Her fireplace is not connected to the floo network and she has no pets. If she has an owl that is simply elsewhere, we will be alerted when it returns and my spellwork will prevent it from leaving."

"Yet you're still bothered." Severus reflexively scowled at Black.

"Am I?"

"Yes, and I am too." There was a long silence. Severus crossed into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. The beige of the carpet was starting to depress him but only half as much as the fact that Black had just calmly expressed his feelings. This was wholly uncharted territory. "So what now?"

"We wait," Severus said with a second glance at the window. "Indoors, so as to not risk being spotted by Pettigrew's aunt." Black grunted and flung himself down in front of the television. Severus had never watched TV before and stood a moment to watch as Black picked up the remote and pressed a red circular button. Muggles sprung to life in full-color, moving as easily as any wizard inside a picture. He shook himself and retreated to his bedroom. He'd brought a select few books, chosen for their tediousness and thickness. He had expected a lot of painfully boring time waiting. Frankly, an hour into the first musty tome, he did not understand how Black had spent the past the past six years in various stages of killing time. For the first time, he felt a surge of guilt over the many times he'd goaded Black about staying home. Severus quickly shook his head, brushed away his emotions, and buried himself back into his book.

He woke in the morning slumped over his book, a thin line of drool sticking his cheek to the pages. His back protested as he straightened and rubbed the wet away. He allowed himself a few seconds of sleepy disorientation and then moved swiftly to the living. His spells had not yet been disturbed but still he peered out the window at the house of Pettigrew's aunt. Her car sat untouched in the driveway, her curtains partially open. As he watched, she shuffled back and forth across the window, first with a pot of tea and then with a cat.

Severus started at the creak of a door and listened to Black's plodding steps. "Anything?" Severus turned to answer. His lip curled when he saw Black's current state but he held the snide remark back. Still, he did not appreciate the other man coming out in just his underwear.

"Not now," he said and let the curtains fall from his hand. He hesitated and then said, "I'm making tea. Would you like some?"

"No," Black said immediately and turned back to his room. The door shut with an unnecessarily loud bang.

Severus made the tea and drank two cups while sitting on the couch and focusing on his wards for any disturbance, however minor. At one point Adamson herself disturbed the ward but a quick locating spell showed she merely drove to the store. She returned with a paper bag of groceries.

Two days later, Severus began to deeply regret his agreement to do this. He should have told them to include him when they had more ideas. Wasting away in a drab living room was not how he'd expected this to go. On the third day, he woke with a start. His magic thrummed through him, the tell-tale sign of a disturbed ward. As he leapt out of bed, he became aware of the alarm he had set ringing shrilly. He and Black leapt into the hallway at the same time, in similar states of sloppy dress.

They reached the window together and looked out just in time to see Pettigrew disappear into his aunt's house. So, it was happening now, then.

"That rat," Black growled and wrenched the door open.

"Black, _no_." Severus grabbed his arm to hold him back. ""He set up his own wards over mine. If we burst in there, he'll be gone."

"So he knows someone set up magic on the house?" Black asked, then paused and shook his head. "No, he was never good with detection."

"Right, which works in our favor now. I will take down his wards in just a few moments. Go hide yourself as the dog and get his scent, just in case he tries to run." Normally Black would have bristled at being given directions and Severus appreciated just how serious the situation had to be for him to simply nod, transform, and slink away in the shadows between the cottages.

Severus pulled out his wand and began the incantation to remove Pettigrew's wards without detection. As he worked, he became aware of how fast his heart thumped in his chest. He forced himself to slow down and calm himself. He always got overexcited when it came time to action after long periods of rest.

A droplet of sweat rolled down his cheek as he swung his wand and wiped away the last of Pettigrew's wards, leaving only his own Anti-Apparation ones intact. He checked that he had the proper healing and offensive potions on his belt and slipped out of the house into the sunshine with his wand out. As he approached the house, Black in his dog form padded up beside him and seamlessly morphed back.

"Are you ready, Black?" Severus asked and received a tight nod in affirmation. He had gone even paler than normal, his eyes wild, and sweat shone on his forehead. Severus kept his observations to himself and motioned Black over to the rear entrance. With a quiet _Alohomora _they entered the house.

Pettigrew's voice drifted from the living room. Severus had to concentrate to make out a few of the words and gathered Pettigrew was regaling his aunt with fabricated tales of his popularity and success. Severus, despite himself, felt a pang of poisonous hate toward the man. He had contributed to so much suffering by always putting himself first and now, after the war, he still got what he wanted. He had never sacrificed, never protected, never acted selflessly and yet-

Black jerked his head at the living room with a questioning, yet still murderous, look. Severus tapped his wand onto Black's forearm and black words spawned on it. "You get Pettigrew. I'll knock out the aunt." Black nodded, wiped his arm clean, and they entered the living room shoulder to shoulder.

Severus had faced down countless opponents over the years. For all the importance that had been placed on this task, it was over in a second, even before Pettigrew had fully formed a look of surprise. Severus had to admit he was impressed with Black's restraint as the man fell to the ground stiff under _Locomotor Mortis _rather than glassy eyed from _Avada Kedavra_. The aunt had long since fallen asleep under Severus's sleeping spell. He quickly placed a false memory of Pettigrew bidding her a permanent farewell and then turned to find Black checking Pettigrew's magically-conjured restraints. The rage had melted from his face and was replaced with an eerie calm.

"Black?" Severus asked. "How are we going to proceed?"

"Take him to the Ministry," Black said, eyes fixed on the traitor's prone form. "I'll return home and await whatever's going to happen." His eyes stayed on Pettigrew as he said, "Severus, I am putting all my trust in you. If you are really turning over a new leaf, don't let him escape." He paused and looked up. Severus felt an odd jolt in his stomach as Black looked into his eyes. He had never seen such an unguarded, unhostile look from the other man in all the decades they had known each other. "Please."

"I won't," he said and the sneering confidence slipped in out of habit. "Now go see your godson." With a flick of his wand, he dismantled his wards. Black nodded and at once they Disapparated to their respective destinations.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Severus fabricated his cover as the Ministry elevator cranked down and rehearsed it to himself as he strode through the lobby, Pettigrew floating behind him, cautious and nosy looks alike following his path. The receptionist looked up at him, blinked rapidly, looked at Pettigrew, and blinked several more times.

"Mr. Snape," he said uncertainly.

"I'm bringing in an injured man," Severus said with cool disinterest. "Peter Pettigrew."

"Peter, uh, Pettigrew? But isn't he…? Didn't…?"

"I am aware that Pettigrew is supposed to be almost twenty years dead," Severus said. "That's really no concern of mine. I attended school with Pettigrew and I assure you this is him. I also can attest that there are no spells, charms, or other hijinks occurring. I assume you don't doubt my abilities in this matter."

"Well, no," the receptionist said, clearly scrambling to regain control of the situation, "but why are you bringing him here and not St. Mungo's?"

"I assumed the aurors would want to speak with him." Severus glanced back at the floating body. "Where can I deposit him? I'm in a bit of a rush."

"I'll take him." Severus stiffened at the voice. He did not have to turn around to know Albus Dumbledore was now smiling and glittering and projecting mystical calming feelings at everyone in the room. The passersby had stopped staring and the receptionist was now leaning back in his chair with a relaxed smile. "I believe you know, Deletarius, that I have had suspicions of Pettigrew's survival for many years. I'm quite glad to see he is in relative good health and will be available for, ah, discussion. I'll bring him to, say, Kingsley's office? Very good." Severus felt a physical pull as Pettigrew's levitation was taken over by Albus. "Thank you for your help, Severus. Would you like to accompany us?"

"No," Severus said. "Thank you." He watched Albus walk away with perhaps a touch too much venom in his gaze. He wanted to be better. He recognized that he had made many mistakes and deserved all the pain he had endured. He had a harder time recognizing Albus's need to manipulate and control Severus. Legilimency skills aside, surely he had not been such a valuable player as to necessitate so many years of deception.

_It wasn't the Legilimency at all_, a small voice said in his head. Severus snorted. He already knew that. It was (ugh) the power of his love for Lily. With that thought, he decided he had quite enough of an exciting day and hurried to leave St. Mungo's behind.

* * *

The sizzling of frying bacon filled the kitchen, slightly hushed by the quiet tones that floated from the radio. Severus sat in a rickety wooden chair, hunched over a small red journal, quill flying across the page, a spot of ink dotting his upper lip. He had woken with sudden inspiration for an improvement on the Wolfsbane potion.

Just as the bacon began to crisp, Severus waved his wand and the slices flipped out of the pan and onto a plate next to crumbly slab of bread. Severus kept one hand moving with the quill while the other blindly groped for something to fill his stomach. _If I add an essence of…_

A sharp rap at the window. Severus looked up and saw a Post owl eyeing him with all the disdain of a Malfoy. He _Accio_ed his knut bag and opened the window to receive the paper. His eyes fell upon the front page headline. Finally, here was the story he'd spent the past two weeks waiting for – two weeks in which he'd received not a single line of communication from Potter, Black, or Albus. Even Draco had been oddly quiet, although he had sent Severus a short letter about his current grades.

_**Sirius Black Innocent: Black cleared of all crimes after Peter Pettigrew found alive**_

_For the past sixteen years, the Wizarding World has believed Sirius Black to be a dangerous madman and devoted servant of the Dark Lord. Peter Pettigrew was held up on the same pedestal as the Potters, lauded as a hero, written into books as a tragic figure. A press release from earlier today disabused us all of this notion._

"_Yes, we have found Peter Pettigrew alive and well," the minister stated in a letter to the Wizarding Association of News. "Under Veritaserum, Pettigrew admitted to betraying the Potters to You-Know-Who and faking his own death to frame Black. We at the ministry offer our full apologies to Sirius Black and pardon him of all crimes and convictions. We look forward to having the chance to make reparations to Black. If and when he comes forward, we will hold a press conference to give him the chance to publicly announce his innocence."_

The article continued with choice quotes from shocked ministry officials and speculation on where Black could be hiding. Severus felt an altogether unexpected wave of smugness and pride. He was far past accustomed to holding insider knowledge. It was entirely new for that knowledge to be something good, something good that _he did_.

He let the paper fall to the table and popped another piece of bacon into his mouth. He stared out the window as he chewed. When would Black come out of hiding? Potter must be happy…and Lupin. What had that fight been about that day, anyway? Had…

Severus stood abruptly and shook his head. Why was he concerned with personal matters? He had made amends, he had done something unselfish for a change, and now he was done. This was the whole point of his apology exercise – to live his life without the damage he had done to others hanging over him. He left his half-eaten bread on the table and retreated to his potions lab with his journal. He had a day of experimenting to focus on.

* * *

"Don't look into my mind, okay?" Draco asked. He sat, fidgeting, in the comfortable overstuffed chairs of Le Sur, a restaurant of unquestionable taste in Hogsmeade. It was the second dinner they'd had since Black was declared innocent. The subject had yet to be broached.

"Why ever would I do that?" Severus asked and then squinted. "Is there something you're hiding from me?" Draco's squirming increased. Severus smirked at the sight and popped another buttery escargot into his mouth. He held back a moan of pleasure, barely.

"I'm not hiding it," he said. "I want to tell you. Tonight. That's why…I asked to come here. So, you couldn't…freak out." He went deeply red. That could only mean one thing.

"I assure you, Draco, I have no interest in hearing of your Potter fantasies."

"I'm not…!" Draco, rendered speechless, stared down at his lap. Severus resisted the very strong impulse to sift through his mind that cropped up despite Draco warning him against that exact act.

"Out with it, then." Severus picked up his wine glass and swirled the contents as he stared at his godson. Despite his recent attempts at being more human, he had no desire to hear whatever personal confession Draco was about to spew. It had to be about Potter with that blush. Had his godson actually expressed his feelings? Despite himself, Severus cringed imagining it. Potter, with his desperate need to do the right thing, having to reject a very sensitive overgrown child, and Draco, with desperate needs of his own…that had to be it.

"It's not about any fantasy," Draco said. His face still burned red but he spoke with an impressively determined voice. "Harry and I are in a relationship. I wanted to tell you."

"I see," Severus said and took a long draw from his wine. "I see. So, I was wrong then."

"About what?"

"The color of your cufflinks. Turns out silver is the perfect color to turn the Chosen One homosexual." He meant for his words to sting and they did. Draco's wavering bravery hardened into petulance.

"Homosexual? Wow, I forget how old you are sometimes." Severus laughed and set his glass down.

"Yes, I am old, far too old to be hearing about your dalliances, so please," Severus placed a galleon on the table and stood up, "keep them to yourselves." Draco stood with him, surprising Severus enough into stopping for a moment.

"I told you because it's important to me," he said, fiercely, the blush having moved from his cheeks to his ears. "Harry is important to me. You are important to me. It's all important. Don't brush it off. I thought you wanted – you said that you were sorry, that things would be different."

"Draco," Severus said, "I am doing my best to not be repulsive. That doesn't mean I am interested in teenage romances. I have had more than my fill of such matters after working at Hogwarts. Now please, control yourself, there's no need to lose composure. If you want me to go to dinner with you and Potter then I will, if you want my blessings then you have them, but let's not embarrass ourselves by acting like Gryffindors."

"I'm acting like myself!" Draco said, not at all appeased by Severus's words. "I care about things, I have feelings, and I want to express them. I don't want to keep everything bottled up and hidden, I don't want to be like – like –"

"Me?" Severus asked colorlessly. "Well, let me assure you that for better or worse you will never be like me."

"Definitely better," Draco said and crossed his arms over his chest. Ah, the pout had returned. Severus smiled despite himself. He did not answer and the pair walked out together, Draco dragging his feet in petulant protest. "So, you've never been in love?" The words came as they stepped out into the slushy snow, melting under the coming spring's heat. Severus internally smoothed the reaction those words brought.

"No," Severus said, and realized it was true. "I wasted my life on something I thought was love and in the end it was nothing but my selfish, bitter delusions." He turned and faced his godson. "Draco, bring Potter to dinner at my house next week."

"You won't hex him?" Draco asked and Severus sneered.

"No, you fool, although I will hex you if you don't get going back to school. Your marks in Herbology are completely unacceptable; you should be studying." With the subject successfully changed, the two bickered the entire walk back to the gates of Hogwarts.

Severus bid Draco farewell with a handshake and turned back to walk out of Hogwarts' Anti-Apparation wards. A pleasant breeze began to blow as he walked and the stars winked down at him. "Mars is bright tonight," he murmured to himself with an idle glance to the distant Forbidden Forest and then snorted at his own foolish actions. "And Draco's not the only one going crazy."

* * *

_**Sirius Black Spotted at Diagon Alley**_

_Several reports placed Sirius Black at Diagon Alley today, marking his first public appearance since being declared innocent. The ministry has released minimal information beyond the initial publication and Black has been similarly private. Rumors swirl about the reasons for the quiet. A ministry insider shared that Black's mental state has deteriorated due to his long imprisonment at Azkaban and as such he is unfit for a press conference._

_Yet eyewitnesses today shared Black shopped at Diagon Alley and seemed in good spirits. He was accompanied by his godson, the Chosen One Harry Potter, and Nymphadora Tonks, Auror. Tonks allegedly acted as a bodyguard for the pair against anyone who might approach the two._

_This reporter has personally sent several media request owls to both Harry Potter and Black. None have been returned._

* * *

The dinner with Potter did not go quite as spectacularly awful as Severus had predicted. The physical contact between the two was altogether inappropriate but Severus was surprised to find Potter much bolder, quicker witted, and more daring when out of the classroom. The conversation was, in fact, mildly enjoyable. Perhaps the absent threat of death from an evil dark lord helped relax him as well.

Suddenly, Severus found himself quite busy with social activities. It started with Potter joining Draco for their weekly dinners. Then, Potter invited him to the final match of the Quidditch season and without a solid reason for saying no, he attended. Draco made quite the enthusiastic fan.

Draco asked for private tutoring and when a few other Slytherins offered to pay him for his services, Severus found himself saying yes. The money was good and being able to select his students meant he did not have to deal with the idiots or, in other words, Hufflepuffs.

He spent his evenings tinkering on his potions and Sundays stayed reserved solely for Wolfsbane experimenting. He took notes and began to prepare essays for formal publication. Wolfsbane could be so much more effective and the changes to the brew were actually relatively minor.

It was for that reason that, one Monday, he emerged from his lab entirely sleep deprived and yet wildly excited for what he had been working on. He stumbled into the kitchen planning to write an inquiry letter to a Potions publication. Instead, he found Black curled up in a kitchen chair, head propped up on a hand as he snored through light sleep.

"I'm hallucinating," he said to himself and practically ran into his room. He burrowed under the covers and fell into immediate, restless sleep.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

When Severus woke, showered, and dressed he returned to his kitchen to find Black in the exact same position. In a fit of immature rage, he shot a jet of water at the sleeping mutt. Black jerked awake and toppled out of the chair. He went down in a heap of legs, animal and wooden alike.

"I deserved that," he said as he hopped to his feet and pushed wet strands out of his eyes.

"You deserve far worse," Severus said and advanced on the other man. "What the hell are you doing in my home?"

"Well, I figured it's way past time we talked." Black eyed the wooden chair he had just fallen out of and settled for leaning against the counter instead. "About our godsons."

"Ah," Severus said and finally tucked away his wand. "And this conversation couldn't take place over owl?"

"Maybe," Black said with a dismissive hand wave. "More importantly, I needed to get out of Grimmauld Place. I don't know how Harry has dealt with the media swarm his whole life, I –" Spotting the mounting impatience on Severus's face, Black cut his words short. "Anyway. You're not busy, are you?"

"Unfortunately, no." Severus was free until Pansy Parkinson's tutoring that evening.

"Great." Black smiled. "Shall we go to the sitting room?"

"Here is fine," Severus said, distracted by Black's unguarded smile. Severus realized this was the best Black had looked in his adult life. The shadows under his eyes were considerably lessened, he'd finally gotten a haircut, and his wet shirt showed he was no longer a skeleton under his robes.

"If you insist. I am but a guest." Black shifted on his feet. "So, Draco and Harry."

"What about them?"

"Well, surely you know?"

"I know about their relationship," Severus said. "Did you come here to idly gossip about our godsons?"

"Merlin, of course not. I just wanted to talk about, you know, health and stuff."

"Health and stuff," Severus said with a blank stare.

"Sex!" Black said exasperatedly. "Safe sex, more importantly." Severus stiffened and looked way from Black. He willed himself not to cringe.

"Surely, they are old enough to research everything on their own," Severus said.

"You'd think that," Black said, "but yesterday Harry asked me if he could get pregnant."

"Well, that's the Chosen One for you."

"No, no. By "he" I mean your precious child, Draco. You know, with being part Veela and all, and male Veelas being able to conceive," Black said and Severus realized, suddenly, that Black was enjoying this uncomfortable conversation.

"If Draco thinks he can get pregnant because his great-grandmother was a half Veela, he deserves whatever anxiety he may be experiencing," Severus said and glanced irritably at the clock. "Is that it?"

"Okay, fine, I can see where Draco gets his repression from. I will talk to them both and you can bury your hand in the sand. But you have to brew any necessary potions when they _don't_ use the proper spells and get an infection," Black said. "

"Ugh, fine," Severus said with a sneer. "_Is that it_?"

"No, not at all. That's why I suggested the sitting room. They've been talking about getting married."

"You're joking," Severus said flatly.

"I am," Black said brightly. "That is pretty much it." Black paused and then pushed himself away from the counter, a step closer to Severus. "Actually, I did want to thank you. For helping me. The entire thing ended up being quite simple but I do appreciate what you were willing to do. And thank you, also, for accepting Harry. He's been rejected enough, I think if his sexuality was an issue, too –"

"That's enough," Severus said loudly and Black stared.

"Wow, you really _are_ repressed. Have you been laid since Hogwarts?"

"As if I was laid during Hogwarts," Severus said and immediately regretted it. He had gotten too comfortable with the back and forth, damn it. Black went entirely pink and shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.

"Are you saying you're a virgin, Snape?"

"You can leave now," Severus said and flung the front door open with a flick of his wand.

"You are," Black said. "I thought you and Lily –"

"Lily and me, are you truly that ignorant Black? When would we have had time to do anything inappropriate, in between her flirting with Potter and me calling her a Mudblood?" Severus was angry, sneering, and revealing entirely too much. He should have forcefully ejected Black as soon as conception was brought up. He sifted through his feelings and realized that, perversely, he was enjoying the conversation. Black was not wearing a façade at all. He was genuinely shocked at the things Severus said. He was…listening, paying attention, and responding. They were talking and Severus was at once humiliated and exhilarated.

"I had no idea," Black said with a shake of his head. "I didn't know 40-year-old virgins actually existed."

"Shut up," Severus said, "right now." Surprisingly, Black did. He made no move to leave, of course, but he shut his mouth and just looked at Severus. Silence fell and then –

"Let's go to lunch," Black said. "Come on, you'll get your name in the paper for something other than being a Death Eater." And that was how Severus Snape found himself squeezed into a booth across from Sirius Black. After fighting off several fools with threats and hexes on the walk into the restaurant, Severus made sure to cast wards that shielded them from anyone except their server so they could eat in piece. If Black noticed or appreciated this, he did nothing to show it.

"Remus is going to kill me," Black said as they waited for their orders to arrive. Severus raised an eyebrow. "He's been begging me to go out with him, anywhere."

"And you didn't? Trouble in paradise?" Severus asked. To his horror, Black went suddenly serious, his eyes slightly scrunched as he considered the question.

"Paradise was a long time ago," he said quietly. "He had a life while I was in Azkaban, and he spent most of that life hating me. Hell, so did I. I was very hateable." He smiled.

"Ah, Sirius Black, the martyr. What an unexpected role for a Gryffindor." Black snorted.

"You're not at Hogwarts anymore, Severus, who cares about houses?" The use of his first name caught him off guard. Very few people called him by his first name, and none of them so affectionately. Affectionately? With a sudden sinking feeling, Severus realized he had ruined everything. He had forgotten his role, his mask, and his purpose. He could be reasonable without being – this. Open. It was too much, too small, too beneath him. Helpless rage crashed against his ribs in waves and he grabbed his fork, clenching to steady himself. "Severus?"

"What are we doing here?"

"Eating?"

"No," Severus said. "Why did you invite me here?"

"To be completely honest," Black said, "I'm lonely." Black leaned back and fell silent as the server approached with their meals. Severus's crab legs looked unappetizing. He settled for a sip of his water. "Aren't you?"

"No," Severus said. "Quite the opposite. I am around people far too often."

"Sure, teenagers are people, but they're hardly confidants and stimulating conversationalists."

"Oh, and you are?" Severus asked.

"Yes," Black said with a smile. "Or why did you come here?"

"I want to be in the Daily Prophet," Severus deadpanned and after a brief pause Black began to laugh. His chuckles started low but slowly built volume and he brought a hand up to cover his mouth.

"Cheers," Black said. "If you want, I can sell the story of you being a virgin. It won't be front page or anything but definitely at least a lifestyle column. We can split the profits, 70/30. You'll get the 30, of course, because you also get paid in fame and attention."

"You are indecently obsessed with the sex I haven't had," Severus said.

"Quite honestly, Severus, it's the most interesting thing about you. Like, why did you not hire an escort? Sleep with Minerva? Or, hell, you and Narcissa –"

"Don't talk about her," Severus said and his hands shook as he stood.

"Whoa, Severus, I'm sorry, I forgot," Black said, earnest apology in his eyes.

"How convenient for you." Severus scattered a handful of coins across his uneaten meal, hyperaware it was the second time he had stormed away from a table in so many weeks. "Narcissa wasn't the Chosen One's parents so, who cares?"

"Severus, get a hold of yourself. We've both lost people, and we've both suffered, and I'm sorry I was careless but don't go." Severus went.

* * *

A week later Severus's research on Wolfsbane was accepted for publication, and two weeks after that he sent the final paper out. He received a glossy copy of the journal in the post. His article received a mention of the front cover. It was heavily edited and the importance of his research understated due to the fact no one had yet repeated his results. Still, it was published; it was a start. He took Draco out for celebratory drinks and after four cocktails ended up stumbling into the bathroom stall to cry. When he came out, Draco sighed, "Oh, Severus," and took his godfather home.

Draco, Potter, and the rest of the seventh years graduated in a lavish ceremony. It was overdone and full of blustery speeches. Albus cried at least three times. Severus understood what the graduation represented the moment Potter walked for his diploma and received riotous applause. This was the official mark of the end of the Dark Lord's terror. Harry Potter had banished the Dark Lord and then he had lived through his death and now everything was back to normal – never mind that the man that had actually killed the beast received nothing more than polite claps.

Severus had planned a moment of unguardedness and when he met up with Draco afterwards, he put both hands on the graduate's shoulders and said, "I am so proud of you." This time, it was Draco who cried and, Severus thought smugly, he didn't even have alcohol as an excuse.

Draco and Potter went off to celebrate with friends and Severus went home for an early glass of Firewhiskey.

The next day was a graduation party for Potter and Weasley at Grimmauld Place and Draco begged Severus to attend. He regretted giving in the moment he walked in and realized about half the attendants were redheaded Weasleys.

"Alright, Snape?" Mr. Weasley asked as Severus tried to quietly shuffle away from everyone.

"Ah, yes, and yourself, Arthur?"

"Great, very proud of Ronald, as I'm sure you are of Draco." He looked away and then back with a blush that Severus was becoming all too familiar with. "Sirius told me talked to you already but I just wanted to extend my hand. Harry is like a son to me, as good as a Weasley to all of us, and with him and Draco…well, just watch out for him, and we'll do the same for Draco."

"Yes," said Severus, "and we can discuss the dowry for Draco's hand later." He smiled quite unpleasantly and with a curt nod moved away before Arthur could answer. He passed Draco dancing with Potter with a stupid grin on his face and shuddered. This was going to end so poorly.

"Severus!" A hand rested lightly on his forearm and Severus turned instinctually. Black stared back at him with an oddly familiar stupid grin. It took Severus a moment to process and then the world collapsed around him. Black continued to speak but Severus could only stare at him in static horror. "Severus?" The hand on his forearm shook him lightly.

"Don't ever touch me," Severus snarled and jerked his arm away. "Don't touch me or talk to me or look at me like that."

"What?" Black frowned. "Are you alright? Are you…you're still mad?"

"I'm not mad," Severus said, leaning forward to snarl in Black's face. He had been so in control these past few months, he had kept his natural rage simmering below the surface, and now it was all bubbling up. "You said a stupid thing, which is nothing less than I would expect from a bumbling idiot like you. I'm not mad, I just don't like you, and I never have. Stop acting like we are anything other than two people forced together by circumstances. And when your godson dumps my godson, we will be able to wash our hands of each other for good."

"Get out." This came from the side and Severus turned to find Draco staring at him with steely determination. Potter hovered at his elbow uncertainly. Around them, the party continued. Laughter and music floated past their little scene of drama.

"Gladly," Severus said and straightened.

"No, I meant, get out of here and get out of my life. You know, after you ignored me in the hospital, I was done with you, but Harry convinced me to give you another chance. I thought you had changed but you haven't and you never will. Not only are you rude to everyone around you, still, but you're just…_mean_. Why would you say that Harry would break up with me? Because you think I'm worth nothing?" A million arguments and insults flew through Severus's mind. He looked at Black's face, burning with embarrassment and anger, and at Draco, his emotions flying freely across his features. He realized Draco was right. He didn't belong here. He wasn't better than the scum he had always been, no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise. He had tried to pretend he could do this little song and dance of fitting in with normal people. But Severus was not normal.

"You're worth something," Severus said, "just not to me." He inclined his head at his godson, saying goodbye to the child he had known. That little boy he had loved, petulant and ill-tempered and childish, had been replaced by a man and that man was not a true Malfoy. Severus had no place in his life. He could never master this free outpouring of expression that Draco now employed. "Goodbye, Draco."

* * *

Harry watched as Severus Snape turned, walked out of the wards, and Disapparated. Beside him, Draco stood stiff and shaking slightly. Harry was so torn between the desire to chase after Snape to smack sense into him and the needs of his boyfriend. In the end, he turned to Draco and pulled him into a hug. By now, it was all too familiar when Draco practically melted into his arms.

Harry looked over his shoulder at Sirius and the look on his godfather's face was like a punch to the gut. "Sirius?"

"Hmm? Oh, Harry, well," Sirius attempted to say and then just sputtered into silence.

"Draco, will you give us a moment? I'll be right over." Draco nodded and stepped off into the crowd of mostly Weasleys. "Sirius. Come here." He took his godfather's elbow, at once exasperated and amused at the inability of two adult men to communicate, but also thoroughly frustrated on Draco's behalf. "What did you just do?"

"_Me_?" Sirius asked, instantly affronted. "I didn't do anything!"

"Right, besides be completely obvious about your crush and scare Snape off." Dead silence met his words. Harry waited patiently for Sirius to collect his thoughts, trying his best not to smirk.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Harry," Sirius said and was surprisingly steady with his tone. His face smoothed into sudden total seriousness. "I thought Severus and I had a lot in common, and could be friends, but clearly –"

"Oh, no," Harry said. "Don't even try that with me, Sirius. You know, after being with Draco, I know a _bit_ about sexual tension, and you and Snape were practically drowning in it."

"Harry," Sirius said sharply, "one romance doesn't make you an expert in these matters."

"That's true," Harry said. "You were way too obvious, though, I don't need to be an expert to see it. Clearly Snape agrees." Sirius sighed and covered his face with his hands. He grunted something that Harry took as acknowledgment of the truth. "So what's next?"

"Nothing," Sirius said. "Harry, don't worry about this old man, this is your graduation party. Go have fun with your friends." And with that, he slumped away, looking more defeated than he had in some time, long before Pettigrew's capture.

Harry left Sirius and went to find Draco. He knew the other man would never be happy without Severus in his life. It occurred to him as he prepared a speech for Draco that Hermione had been quite correct in their fifth year, and his "saving people thing" had apparently extended to interpersonal matters now that Voldemort was dead. Forget Auror school, he should be a therapist.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Harry dropped the box with a flick of his wand and turned at the sound of Draco's groan.

"Tell me again why we couldn't have Granger shrink everything for us?" Harry couldn't help but grin at the sight of Draco standing in the middle of their stuff and pouting.

"We need to be independent," Harry said and stepped forward to draw Draco into his arms. "You know, Hermione freaked out about us moving in together so soon. If I went running to her for help, she would help but then I'd have to listen to how right she was."

"She's your friend," Draco mumbled into Harry's shoulder.

"Yeah," Harry said and tilted Draco's head up. "Why are talking about her, again? There's about ten other things I'd like to do." He pressed his lips to Draco's and marveled at their softness for perhaps the hundredth time.

"Oh, no," Draco said with a shake of his head. "If you start kissing me, we're never going to finish unpacking."

"Oh, is that what happened? _I _was kissing _you_? Your precious Malfoy lips didn't kiss me back?" Harry asked.

"My precious Malfoy lips can do whatever they want but your grimy Potter hands need to get to work." Draco had a valid point but instead of listening to him Harry looped his arms around Draco's waist and unceremoniously pulled him down to the ground. A mini wrestling match later, they lay snuggled up, Harry's head on Draco's chest. "Harry?"

"Hmm?" Harry asked. His fingers crept down to the hem of Draco's shirt and pulled it up an inch. He ran his fingers over the thin soft hairs on Draco's belly.

"I love you, you know," Draco said, not for the first time but with sudden weight behind his words.

"I love you too," Harry said and leaned up for another kiss. "Are you okay?"

"I miss Severus," he admitted in a whisper. "Did I…Was I wrong?"

"You weren't wrong," Harry said. "You were entirely right. He's been absolutely miserable to be around." Harry paused and slid his fingers into Draco's, giving a light squeeze. "But you love him and he loves you. Neither of you have that with very many people."

"So he should get a free pass to treat me however he wants?" Draco asked and Harry laughed to hear the pout in his voice.

"Of course not. But maybe you can help him out. You know, any time he gets inappropriate, just tell him. Stand up for yourself like you did at The Burrow without, you know, ending the relationship." It was funny how Harry had always been so stupid with women, unable to understand Cho and awkwardly fumbling around Ginny, but with Draco everything made sense. He could see every part of Draco, good and bad, how it tied together and made him who he was. He loved all those pieces.

"Maybe," Draco said, "but enough about him. If you refuse to get to work then you have to make up for it by kissing me."

"_Just_ kissing you?" Harry asked innocently and looked up to see the smile unfold across Draco's face.

"It's a good start, at least." One sweaty hour and a shower later, the pair finally settled down to go through the boxes. The flat they rented was small and their collection of possessions even smaller so they worked fairly quickly. Draco had decided to leave most of his things behind at his manor, a place where neither man was particularly eager to return.

As night fell, Harry pulled out a recently purchased frying pan and turned to Draco. "I don't suppose you know any cooking spells?" he asked a bit hopefully.

"Think about who you're talking to, Harry." So Harry settled in for an evening of unmagicked cooking and Draco flipped through the catalog from Mr. Furnuculus's Furniture Fancy. "What do you think of this one?" Draco asked, turning the pages to show Harry a sleek burgundy sofa.

"It's fine," Harry said as he flicked off the stovetop gas.

"Fine," Draco mocked and tapped his wand against the picture. An odd cranking noise filled the apartment and a moment later the couch crashed down onto the floor of the living room.

"Well, that's one way to do it," Harry said. He tipped the contents of the pan onto two plates and carried them over to the table. "Though, I'm surprised at you. Burgundy? I thought you would want everything in various shades of green."

"Ugh, no, Harry, if I never have to see anything green or silver again it'll be too soon," Draco said and Harry grinned.

"I guess I should return your birthday present, then."

"Birthday present?" Draco visibly perked up, his eyes suddenly shining at the thought of a present, and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes and you'll get it next week, on your actual birthday." Harry was not surprised at all at the amount of pouting that followed.

True to his word, a week later Harry wrapped up a small box and brought it with him to Grimmauld Place. Draco fussed with Harry's hair as they stepped onto the front porch. "Honestly, Harry, I know a lot of smoothing charms, and stop smirking, they won't have that greasy look my old ones used to. I was 12!"

Harry stopped smirking to lean forward and kiss Draco just as the door opened. "Hi Harry, happy birthday Draco," Sirius said with a wicked smile on his face. "Please, come in."

"Uh, Sirius –" but Harry fell silent as he stepped into the sitting room. On one couch sat Ron and Hermione, a careful and awkward large gap between them. On another couch Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini sat with equal discomfort. "Oh. Well, this will be fun."

Harry settled into an armchair while Draco excitedly moved to talk to his old friends, the only two that hadn't denounced him after Voldemort's death. "So, Hermione, how's your summer study in, er, Egypt?"

"Ethiopia, Harry, and it's going quite excellent. There are a lot of wizards there with medical needs so I'm getting loads of practice."

"And she has a cute healer boyfriend," Ron said roughly and Hermione scowled.

"Well, yes. I invited him, Harry, but he couldn't come. He's actually a healer in another department of the hospital. He works with, ah, self-inflicted issues. Potion dependency and self-hexes and the like." Hermione spoke rapidly, her words falsely bright, and Ron sunk further into the couch.

"Sounds great," Harry said. "Bring him round to our place sometime. And Ron, what about you?"

"I haven't got a healer boyfriend," Ron said and then turned quite red at the glare Harry shot him. "Fine, fine. My summer is going fine. I'm thinking about applying to university."

"Oh, really?" Hermione asked with her first genuine smile. "That's great, Ron, where were you thinking?"

"Whoever will take me with the amount of NEWTs I got, honestly…"

Harry relaxed as they fell into a more natural conversation. Maybe there was hope for the three of them after all. Harry looked over at Draco and found him equally wrapped up in a conversation with his friends. He had to smile thinking of how many times he had seen Draco talking to Pansy and scowled yet now the sight made his heart thrum.

"Happy birthday, Draco," came a voice from the staircase and Harry stood as Remus plod into the living room. The full moon had been two nights ago and Remus looked worse than ever. The recently shorn hair didn't help matters as it made him look a little like a loony hospital patient. "It's not much, but here you go." He placed a wrapped package on the modest pile and then turned to Harry with a tight smile. "How's the new place?"

"Great," Harry said at the same moment as Draco answered, "Horrible."

"What?" Draco asked at Harry's glare. "It is horrible, it's tiny and grey and I'm pretty sure we have a spider roommate."

"_You_ picked it," Harry said. "We could have lived anywhere."

"Yes, but you grew up under a cupboard, I thought a tiny rundown shack would make you happy," Draco said with full innocence.

"Let's do presents," Harry said, not even bother to touch that kind of logic. The group relocated to the dining room and settled around the long table. Draco unwrapped his few presents, graciously thanking each giver, and at the end had a neat little pile of sweets and books. Of course he saved Harry's for last and as he removed the wrapping paper Harry had a sudden pang of fear.

"What's this?" Draco asked and squinted at the contents. "Paper?"

"They're plane tickets," Harry said uncomfortably and Hermione stifled a laugh with her hand. "To Paris. You told me before you wanted to go, and I thought we could go. Muggle style."

"I have no idea what plane tickers are but Muggle style sounds torturous," Draco said, still squinting.

"Tickets," Harry corrected, "and no, it will be fun. Trust me."

"Muggle Paris is much more beautiful than our little hidden section," Blaise said. "You can walk up the Eiffel Tower."

"Why would I want to walk up a tower?" Draco asked, his skepticism turning to full-on disbelief.

"He definitely needs to go," Pansy said. "Culture him a little, Potter, please." This devolved into a fight of who was more cultured, Pansy or Draco, and Harry relaxed a little. It _would_ be fun, whether Draco knew it or not.

"Harry?" A hand fell on his shoulder and Harry looked up to see Remus looking at him with quite a bit of urgency. "May I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course, Remus," Harry said and stepped out to the backyard with Remus. The day was gloomily overcast, hinting at rain. "Alright?" Remus tucked his hands into his shabby pockets and looked up at the sky.

"You know that Sirius and I, well," Remus said and then fumbled for the right words.

"What?" Harry asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," Remus said. "Sirius and I, a long time ago, we used to be together. During school and after it until, well, Pettigrew.

"Oh!" Harry did his best to hide his surprise. "No, I had no idea. Are you – you two are together now, then?"

"No," Remus said and for the first time Harry considered his rough state might not be solely because of the moon. "No, that's the past, we're just good friends now. I just wanted you to know that I support you. I know Sirius has been giving you two a hard time with your age so now you can consider what happened with us. I think that, had Pettigrew not betrayed us, we would have been together today. There's no use considering what-ifs, of course, but it might help you to know where he's coming from. The loss he feels, that is."

"Do you feel that loss too, Remus?" Harry asked and placed a hand on the man's shoulder when Remus grew misty-eyed.

"Every day," he said. "But that's neither here nor there. Just value your feelings, Harry. Love is…very precious."

"I agree," Harry said and hugged Remus tightly. "You know I love you Remus."

"I love you too, Harry."

"Hold up," came a voice from the door, "you two are having a love-fest without me?" Sirius stepped onto the grass with a large grin. As he approached the two for a giant three-way hug, Remus quickly broke away and sped off inside the house. "Oh. Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," Harry said. "We were just talking about, uh – "

"How I broke his heart?" Sirius asked and then rolled his eyes.

"Sirius!"

"What? I'm sick of his attitude. He lives in my house like a ghost, always moping around. People break up, Harry, every day."

"I'm not listening to this," Harry said and stepped into the house.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Severus growled in frustration and crumpled the parchment in his hand. He Vanished it with a jerky motion and stood up to pace around the room. Ever since his argument with Draco, his motivation for potion brewing had completely disappeared. He was due to submit more research but he had run out of steams and ideas. He knew from experience that when his work suffered it meant his life was out of order.

How had he let himself fall into this trap again? He had tried so hard to be better and he was right back where he started, alone and miserable. _It's Black's fault_, he thought but quickly waved the idea away. It was his own fault. Why hadn't he just ignored Black's crush? Or rejected him directly without throwing Draco under the bus? Just used his words instead of resorting to insults and snide remarks?

Severus asked himself these questions day after day but he already knew the answer: he was weak. It was difficult to face things directly and a lot easier to pass them off as the weakness of others. It was his own weakness that created this situation, though, his own inability to be straightforward.

Severus sighed and headed upstairs for another drink of Firewhiskey. After weeks of day drinking, the burn was entirely familiar and quite comforting. He sat and nursed both his drink and his swirling thoughts.

Severus woke the next morning with a splitting headache. He got out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen for his supply of hangover cure. As he fumbled with the cork, a letter from Draco arrived. He eyed it warily as he finally unstoppered the bottle and guzzled the cooling drink. It was not just any letter, but a Howler. Curls of smoke began to drift from the letter and Severus sat down with his head in his hands.

"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD," the letter screamed as it burst into flames. "I LOOKED UP TO YOU, I TRUSTED YOU, I FORGAVE YOU, AND IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO STOP YOU FROM BEING A SNARKY LITTLE GIT. YOU BETTER COME TO GRIMMAULD PLACE TONIGHT IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE IN MY LIFE AGAIN. ASS."

Severus Vanished the ashes and frowned out the window. Go to Grimmauld Place after four months of no contact? Maybe it was a trap? Maybe Draco planned to humiliate him as revenge.

_Or_, the voice that sounded suspiciously like Albus said, _he loves you, misses you, and is willing to give you a second chance_. Frankly, both ideas seemed equally likely.

Severus knew he had yet another split before him. He could ignore Draco and seal himself off to a life alone. He could keep tutoring, keep tinkering with potions, and he would survive. He wouldn't have to deal with the intricacies of genuine social interaction. He wouldn't have to see Black. It all sounded very tempting.

But, he had to admit to himself, he missed Draco. Granted, things would never be the same between them. He was fully aware of that. If he went to this dinner, it would be as a guest and not as a family member. He wasn't Draco's godfather anymore or any kind of trusted advisor. Just a silly broken man receiving his last olive branch.

Severus heaved himself to his feet and went to clean himself up. He had a dinner to prepare for.

Six hours later, Severus arrived at the front door of Grimmauld Place showered, dressed, and thoroughly nervous. He had still not fully convinced himself this wasn't a trick. He knocked and almost instantly Draco pulled the door open. "You came," he said with no small amount of excitement.

"Ah, yes," Severus said, bewildered. Draco threw himself at Severus in a tight hug and Severus, wholly unused to physical contact, stiffened. This was not the reaction he'd expected. He thought he would have to earn his way back into Draco's good graces through trials and prostration. "Potter's rubbing off on you, I see."

"Harry, please," Draco said as he drew away still beaming. "We don't use last names."

"I see," Severus said, still hovering on the doorstep uncertainly.

"Come in, come in," Draco said. "Harry's waiting for us."

"In the kitchen?" Severus asked.

"Oh, no. We have our own place. We're just going to floo there from here. There's Anti-Apparition wards all over it and you don't know where it is, anyway. Come say hi to Sirius." Still feeling quite stiff, Severus followed Draco into the sitting. Sirius looked up from his book and fixed Severus with an unreadable expression.

"Good evening...Sirius..." Severus cursed his sudden awkwardness. He had been a spy for two decades, surely he could manage this evening. The problem was that he wasn't spying. He was trying to be a new person and that was…difficult, among other things.

"Severus," Sirius said evenly and turned his eyes back to the pages. It was odd to see him so closed off when he had previously been so open. It brought back less than pleasant memories of their time together at school. _It's your own fault_, he reminded himself.

Despite Sirius's lack of attention, Draco made no move to leave, and instead sent Severus several pointed but unreadable looks. "Uh," Severus said, frowning, "how have you been?"

Sirius looked up again, this time a little angrily. "Oh, fine. And yourself?"

"Not fine," Severus said, "I've spent the past few months without a single annoyance and it was quite boring." He had hoped to draw Sirius into conversation and feared drawing his wrath. Instead he got a shrug.

"Okay," Sirius said and went back to his book with finality. This time, Draco gestured toward the suddenly roaring fire.

"Ready?" he asked.

A few minutes later, Severus stumbled out into a modestly decorated living room. Pictures of Draco and Potter adorned the wall. Apparently they had gone to Paris. That one was a Muggle shot but the others were in varying states of motion. He watched as they squabbled over a broomstick in one and then quickly looked elsewhere when they can began to make out in another.

"Oh yeah," Draco said, following Severus's gaze as he brushed soot off his clothes, "they do that, sorry." His grin said he was not at all sorry. "Harry?"

"I'm here," Potter said and poked his head out of a room down a hallway. "I'll be right out. Dinner's already on the table." Severus sat down with Draco and wondered if he had stepped into an alternate dimension. He had refused to resign himself to a lonely, miserable future but this was so bizarre. Calmly sitting down to dinner with Draco and Potter, suppressing all the sardonic comments that struggled to jump out, seeing Draco's face so relaxed and openly full of emotion…

"There's something I need to ask of you," Draco said in the middle of their meal. Severus paused, a spoonful of mashed potatoes halfway to his mouth. So there was an ulterior motive to this meeting! Vindicated, Severus put down his spoon.

"Yes?" Severus asked.

"Well," Draco said, "I'll just say it. Harry and I are getting bonded and we would both like you to be the one to do it."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. His immediate one was, of course, "You're only 17!" He already knew it was not his place to object or change their mind. That honor fell to Black and perhaps Lupin, now. He did ask, though, "Why me?"

"I want to give you another chance," Draco said quite bluntly. "Another, final chance. This is important to us and I want to know I can rely on you. Plus, Sirius is going to stand with Harry, and Remus is, ah, not attending. We don't know any other wizards powerful enough to do it and we don't want a stranger from the ministry."

"All very sound arguments," Severus said.

"I thought so," Draco said, pleased.

"So, you'll do it?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Severus said. "Gladly."

"Excellent," Draco said with a clap. "Now let the planning begin!"

* * *

It was the same as before. Being back in Draco's good graces improved his life immeasurably. Severus thought about setting himself lines: _I must not alienate Draco Malfoy_. He didn't really need the reminder, though. He knew the importance of being on, as Draco had put it, his final chance. Unfortunately, as much as Severus wanted to seamlessly slip back into his godson's life, he knew he had a lot more apologies to administer, yet again. Severus judged by the hostile way Sirius treated him every time they saw each other that he had a lot of work to do before that point.

Severus had never been involved in a wedding before but he learned quickly that bonding two people was no simple task. He had to help write Draco and Potter's vows to ensure they would also function as casting words for the individualized bonding spell he had to craft. They set aside a Saturday to do so and Severus showed up with a bottle of Goblin gin. He did his best to support Draco's relationship, truly, but he still thought a drink would help him get through an afternoon of listening to two teenagers confess their love over and over.

Severus rapped on the door of the apartment and a few moments later Potter opened. "Severus," he greeted with a genuine smile. Severus questioned whether he would ever become accustomed to open affection and thoughtless expression of emotion. "Thanks for coming."

"My pleasure," Severus said and followed Potter to the kitchen. Draco stood at the sink, washing dishes by hand. If Severus hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he would never have believed it. Draco looked over his shoulder at his godfather and frowned.

"Don't judge me," he said defensively. "It's…soothing."

"I put lavender oil in the dish soap," Potter added. "It's meant to be calming."

"How domestic," Severus said mildly and sat down at the table. The small talk quickly evolved to business and it was not half as mushy and embarrassing as Severus expected. They finished and Severus collected the several sheets of parchment filled with notes, preparing to leave.

"Why don't you stay for dinner?" Potter suggested, glancing at Draco and receiving a nod. So for the second time, Severus was a guest for dinner at the Potter-Malfoy household. He found himself feeling grateful for, and not a little envious of, their easy ability to forgive. How much simpler would his own life be if he could just learn to let things go?

Draco walked Severus out and then put a hand on his godfather's arm at the door. "We asked Sirius to help you with the spellwork," he said. "On Tuesday." Severus tried not to show the mix of feelings he felt. Displeasure at how awkward that would be and mild excitement at the chance to make things better, to name the most prominent.

"If you think it's best," Severus said. He moved to shake Draco's hand but Draco knocked it out of the way and grabbed him in a hug.

"I'll see you soon," Draco chirped and stepped backward into his flat.

Tuesday arrived all too soon. Severus made tea, set it out, put it away, set it out with a bottle of Firewhiskey, and then Vanished the whole display in a fit of irritation. When Sirius showed up, Severus tried to be polite and welcoming but the mutt just slunk around in a fit.

"Let's get this over with," Sirius said, flinging himself into a chair.

"Why are you here if you don't want to be?" Severus asked, settling himself down with much more grace.

"I want to help Harry and Draco," Sirius said. "I just don't want to have to deal with you to do it."

Well, that was enough of that. Severus shifted in his seat under Sirius's glare and made a decision.

"I owe you an apology," he said.

"For what?" Sirius asked, the animosity not leaving his face.

"For how I handled our mutual attraction - that is to say, immaturely. I didn't want to face how I felt so I reacted...poorly. I apologize and I hope that if you can't forgive me you can at least work with me for Draco and Harry's sake." Severus watched Sirius's face carefully as he spoke and enjoyed the complete range of emotions that ran across the other man's face. Maybe this "open and honest" thing had some benefits after all, namely the thrill of inspiring emotions other than rage and rebellion.

"Mutual attraction?" Sirius asked faintly.

"Please don't deny how you felt about me, it'll hinder the whole "moving on" process," Severus said.

"No," Sirius said. "I was obviously hideously attracted to you. I'm questioning _your_ feelings." Severus felt the beginning of a blush spread across his face as a light heat.

"Well, yes, I was attracted to you, for all the good it did me," Severus said and at last broke the eye contact and looked down at his beginning plans for the bonding spell.

"Was?" Sirius echoed once again. Severus didn't answer. "Severus, are you no longer attracted to me?"

"I am committed to honesty," Severus said, "but please don't make me embarrass myself."

"Answer the question," Sirius said.

Severus looked up and firmly met Sirius's gaze. "I am still attracted to you, yes. Go ahead, laugh at my inability to move on."

"Oh, I'm not going to laugh," Sirius said pleasantly. "I'm going to kiss you." Severus's heart began to beat rapidly at these words and he opened his mouth to answer but found himself, for perhaps the first time, speechless. Sirius reached across the table and pressed his hand into Severus's wrist. "Your heart is racing." Then he leaned forward and put his lips to Severus's.

The kiss started off tentative and mildly awkward but within seconds their lips parted and their tongues began to dance with slick urgency. Severus dimly registered a hand skittering under his shirt and running along his back. He heard his own gasp as a second hand slid down and squeezed his hardening cock. The sensation was at once pleasurable and deeply embarrassing. He was losing control of himself.

"Stop," he said at that. He was careful to move gently as he extracted himself from Sirius, ignoring his two instincts: one to throw himself at the other man and the other to flee at top speed.

"Sorry," Sirius said, "except I'm not truly sorry because I have been waiting months for this."

"Oh," Severus said, still feeling quiet speechless as he tried to catch his breath.

"I'm guessing you don't want to go to my room," Sirius said with such hope that Severus smiled despite himself.

"I want to do a lot of things," Severus said and scrubbed his face. "I don't know, Black. I'm...having a hard time not insulting you right now."

"That's just a sign you want me," Sirius said.

"You're impossible."

"I can't help it. I've been wanting to pound you into my mattress since you first told me you'd never had anyone before." Severus's face burned even hotter at this and Sirius hastily said, "Well, eventually. We could start with something else."

"Like what?"

"You could come with me and I'll kiss you and touch you until you tell me to stop. Then I might sneak in one more," Sirius said.

"I...okay," Severus said. He felt as if he was suddenly living underwater, struggling to breathe, everything shimmering slowly before his eyes. Yet he was full of an unfamiliar sensation: lust. And when Sirius grinned, it wasn't just his erection that stirred. Some pesky little part of his heart told him he was in way over his head.

Still, he followed Sirius, and kiss and touch they did for what felt like several weeks. Along the way, both men lost their shirts. They stumbled out of Sirius's room around dinner time to find something to eat and found Remus Lupin in the middle of a bowl of soup. He looked up, took in their states of undress and puffy lips, and dropped his spoon.

"Really?" Lupin positively snarled.

"You told me you'd be gone till Saturday," Sirius said. His frown suggested Lupin was in the wrong.

"Well, I didn't know you were sneaking around to fuck Snape or, trust me, I would have warned you."

"I don't have to sneak around! It's my damn house!" Sirius's voice rose to a roar and soon the two were toe to toe, on the verge of a physical brawl. Lupin's shabby clothing swirled around his bony frame as he gestured emphatically. In the cover of the argument, Severus summoned his robes and dressed quietly.

"I'm leaving," he announced.

"Good," Remus snapped at the exact time Sirius said, "Don't."

"Yes, clearly you two have something to work out. Black, I'll be in touch to finish planning the spell."

"I'll come over in a little while," Sirius said to the mutinous glare of Lupin. "I told Harry we'd finish the spell today."

"Make sure he knows you were too busy sticking your-" Severus shut the door on their argument and stepped into the cool night air. He paused a moment and took a deep breath, letting the memories of the day washing over him. Equal waves of pleasure and shame crashed over him as he Disapparated.


End file.
